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New Humor from BluElf

Humor




The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.


I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.


The Perils Of Living Dangerously

Getting a Free Day

The Car Was Stolen


Never say: So you're a feminist..lsn't that cute!


If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.


Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.


When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.


Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.


Yankee

Sister Mary Katherine


Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.


The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.


If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?


The Lost Gravy Ladle


Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.


I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.


A Sunday School teacher asked her class, 'Does anyone here know what we mean by sins of omission?' One of the girls replied: 'Aren't those the sins that we should have committed, but didn't?'


Lincoln vs. Kenndy

Dry English Wit


Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.


If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?


The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.


If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?


Miserable Mildred


Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?


Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?


Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?


Club Member

Medical Professionals


The End